Samson & Deliah

For years, Samson battled the Philistines. One time, he was attacked by them; before the fight had ended Samson had killed 1,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey!

Samson loved a woman named Delilah. He didn't know the Philistines had offered her money to trick him. "Why are you so strong, Samson?" she would often ask. Although she begged, Samson wouldn't tell. Finally, she cried, "You don't love me, Samson, or you would share your secret."
"It's my vow to God" he whispered. "If my hair is cut, my strength will go." When he fell asleep, she called the Philistines, and they paid her to cut his hair. Samson's strength was gone. The Philistines bound and blinded him. Later they threw a big party. But Samson prayed. And God gave him strength to push and collapse their temple. That day, thousands of Philistines died—along with Samson

Poker players often believe in lucky seats, dealers and trinkets. Which is why my mind on the long walk back from LC’s last Thursday evening was wondering if, just maybe, cutting my hair was a bad idea? (Apart from the obvious displaying my FA Cup size ears) what if my hair was my lucky charm.

Samson's hair was not the source of his power; it was simply an outward sign that his life was set apart for God's service. By the time Delilah had Samson's hair cut off, he had already betrayed his relationship with the LORD (and thus found himself in the sh*t)

I then came to my senses, that night I had lost most playing Omaha (a game I am still studying) and the last hand I was called by a rather inebriated player who believed I was ahead but called regardless. This brings me to another point that I have observed in my poker play - I have often played at the wrong level against my opponents, let me explain...
When anyone is playing poker they play at a level. They go like this (roughly)
1. I don’t know what I have got
2. I know what I have got
3. How far behind the best have I got
4. What has my opponent got
5. What does my opponent think I have
6. What does my opponent think, that I think they have
etc etc...
On my journey home I realised that I was in trouble from the start. At the beginning of the evening I was playing at a lower level than my opposition in the Omaha hands (Level 4 vs. Level 5) - and lost. Later when playing against the well lubricated, I was thinking a few levels too high (Level 5 vs Level 2) - and lost (the level approximations are only examples). I have come to the conclusion that the premium play is to be one level higher than my opposition. So with my lesson learnt I will be putting myself back into the action with my best foot forward.

From Park Lane to Brick Lane

As much as I love this time of year with all its pomp and pageantry it does however discourage me from partaking in the finer things that life has to offer, like poker and as I'm sure you are aware that like drill; poker should be taken regularly to keep on top of your game. I managed to get a small number of games in these last few days both tournament and cash and in different locations around town, Sunday 1st day off in over 2 weeks so I headed off to the international. Seemed to be going fine until this hand

BL 300/600 - All fold around to cut off who raises 2400, Button (me) calls with JJ, both blinds fold because neither of us have played a hand in a long time.

The Flop 10, 8, 9 (rainbow)

My opponent bets 1500 – I call

Turn 2

My opponent checks and I push all in for 6000ish, after a few minutes he gets a chip count and after a few more minutes another player calls clock and during the 1 minute clock the tournament clock is paused and the dealer is a little unsure as what to do the tournament clock resumes 30sec later and just as the time is running out the other player calls (well past his allotted time) and shows QQ, river is a slight kick in the teeth as the J lands giving my already winning opponent a better winning hand

My second game came Monday afternoon with a 3rd place from 20 runners and not much to report.
Last night was a charity game where the prises were an X-Box 360, Manchester United signed football shirt and a Chelsea signed football shirt. My girlfriend took 3rd place to claim the Chelsea shirt while I was in a cash game with calling stations, the game might as well have been played with everyone anteing and then dealing all the cards out. I finished my evening of suck-outs with this hand against a player who had single handily ruined my table image earlier.
Blinds are 25/25p

I have A5h and my opponent 2nd to act raised £2 everyone folds and I elect to call in SB

Flop A 8 5

I check to let my opponent make a continuation bet which the obligingly did £5 and I raised to £20 they called

Turn 5

I check to represent a weak Ace they bet again £10 and I push all in for £35, they call.

River Q

My opponent proudly places QQ down and declares a house – I say nice hand and they mutter something about me not betting enough!!

The Duracell Bunny Is Running On Fumes

Last year for about one and a half months I had trained my body to operate normally to a 48hr day rather than a 24, this proved quite profitable at the poker tables as I was in the middle of my day and fresh as a daisy and everyone else at the poker table was tired. Last night I had the opportunity to repeat this feat. Around 11pm I had just finished dealing Poker/Blackjack/Roulette to a group of students from the music colleges around London, it was a fun themed night based upon James Bond, at the end I was in high spirits and not in the slightest bit tired. I made my way to the Casino and sat down to play. After 5 hrs this electronic bunny had come to a point where battery power was not enough to keep its head above water. So I stood up and left, after experiencing this sensation I can clearly see two problems with long session play.

1) Clarity of thought no longer exists. This was evident in the other players when I first sat down, people whom I know to be quality players were not playing well, as they failed to realise due to tiredness that they were no longer playing solid poker and were unnecessarily bleeding chips, not that I was complaining :)

2) Playing many endurance sessions will begin to have a long term effect. That is, you will get burnt out and not be able to make the quality decisions you need to make even when you are well rested. I have seen it happen to some very good players they just lose the ability to walk away from the game when their session is turning into a vicious circle of loss

After an hour of sleep this Duracell Bunny had to go to work. Today I have drunk 1 coffee two espressos’ about 1.5lt of energy drink just to get stay awake through three parades and I am expecting my sugar crash any minute now. Time for a siesta!

Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo.

Il buono, The Good;

On the Thursday night I decided to try a different tact to approaching the tournament. I have recently read an article which had different suggestions about how to play at the beginning of a tourney. First there is no question that in a regular poker game you should play reasonably tight. Of course there are exceptions, but those who play every hand will enjoy the action but not necessarily the results. Many successful tournament players are quite loose at the beginning of tournaments which results in either quickly accumulating chips or quickly busting out. I have previously found that I often go deep into a tournament only to find that my remaining stack is too small. Results on this new approach is definitely interesting but more experimentation is needed

il brutto, The Bad;

Was defiantly my out draw against Sir Mike.
I am in the cut off seat, the blinds are 100/200 and my remaining stack is just over 2000 more than 10 times the BB but not by much, everyone folds to me and I see A8os and with only 3 people yet to act I feel my hand is well above average for a four handed hand so I announce the immortal words “I'm all in”. The button folds, one down two to go, a promising start. The small blind gets out the way by throwing their cards into the muck as well. Which only leaves Sir Mike, who wakes up with a hand and elects to call. The cards go on their backs and no surprise to find out that AdQd has me dominated.

Flop

Kd – 7c – Jd

Sir Mike now has more out’s than you can shake a stick at

Turn – 4s

Still very far behind

River – 8h

And there we have it; I must be running well as I catch one of my two outs to win with a pair

il cattivo, The Ugly;

The Ugly – unlike the film came at the end of the night. Once I had got on the night bus, I sat down only to realise that the rather large incredibly smelly snoring old man defiantly had a problem with incontinence whilst asleep and every time the bus jerked forward or braked heavily pools of urine would go trickling by, I'm sure if I had been drinking then urine would not have been the only fluid to be moving around the bus

Where do they come from?

4 hours of play has left me mildly amused. Tonight I think I might have just seen it all. I have come to the conclusion that the rules of how to play poker live should be explained again to everyone and possibly printed in mutable languages and posted up on the wall (especially house rules) as it is starting to get beyond a joke.

Along with the regular acting out of turn, talking about the hand in-play and forgetting to say raise when only throwing in one chip, tonight I had to endure people showing their cards to their friends who were stood behind them (which makes their hand dead), as well this hand....

We join this hand on the river, three people remain. Player 1 who acts first fires out his 4th bullet of this hand which is roughly ¾ of the pot, Player 2 debates and calls, then as the third player is thinking about what to do player 2 picks his cards up where player 3 can see them!! Enough was enough and once again this evening I had to play sheriff, I informed the dealer what was happening and the floor was called over. The floor in my opinion did not entirely get it right. Yes Player 2’s hand is dead and no player 3’s hand is live. In my opinion player 3 was not going to call until they had seen player 2’s hand (now with an unfair advantage, could also be considered collusion) and so surely both players 2 and 3 hands should dead.

I know previously I encouraged everyone to sit down on tables where people are not playing solid poker, and yes I did triple up for the night but when other players are slowing the game down so much with live poker playing errors and making most hands last 5+ minuets then it is ruining your profit margin for the evening, my advice to anyone seeing this happening is to keep on at the dealer and the culprits will either adhere to the rules or leave. Maybe it is me, maybe I’m just tired but I think that this is a valid point.

To Tip or Not To Tip

Every once in a while the subject of tipping comes up both in poker literature and at the table and opinions have ranged from defending those players who almost never tip to giving ridiculous advice, such as £1-£2 games you should tip the dealers X amount with a small pot and Y amount for a large pot and if you are running bad to tip the dealer before the deal starts...

Now in my opinion there are so many things wrong with those statements.

Of course I appreciate being tipped but do not want to come across as begging, nor do I wish to feel bad when a player suggests that another should be tipping. By tipping you are thanking me for the cards, making out that I’m quasi responsible for them. This opens up a whole can of worms because if the dealer is responsible for the cards and is insistent upon a tip when things go the players way then surely he can be berated at when things don’t quit go the way the player wanted and I’m sure that no Dealer wants to be shouted at. Size of pots are all relative and there should not be a compulsory tip amount and there should not be a formula of the amount to be tipped .What’s more if you are running bad the last thing you want to hear is that you should be tipping!

As a Dealer I can tell you that if players did tip every pot that; a) What would have been a profitable night for a player might turn into a losing night and I would probably be out of a job due to the lack of customers. And b) I would probably be out of a job as I’m sure that there are better dealers who would come in and deal.
Of course there is a simple solution to this sticky problem

Tipping should not be allowed

I believe that casinos (Not card rooms*) should pay their help a decent wage and not expect their customers to do it for them. If this means that the rake (or table charge) goes up a small amount, then I am in favour of it. The extra amount of rake would only be taken out of the large sized pots anyway and would at most equate to a few extra pounds per hour off the players hourly rate, this idea would also apply to tournaments, just charge a little extra juice and then do not allow the winners to tip.
*the reason behind excluding card rooms is that I don’t work in a casino and as I’m writing this I can be biased :P

Funny Bones

In a dark, dark city there was a dark, dark river next to the dark, dark river there was a dark, dark track along the dark, dark track was a dark, dark station under the dark, dark station there was a nicely lit very spacious poker club. Most of my stories will emanate from here, most of my thoughts; theories will come from the dark, dark space under my dark, dark hat.


The Fundamental Theorem of Poker (David Sklansky aka The Mathematician)


Every time you play a hand differently from the way you would have played it if you could see all your opponents’ cards, they gain; and every time you play your hand the same way you would have played it if you could see all their cards, they lose. Conversely, every time opponents play their hands differently from the way they would have if they could see all your cards, you gain; and every time they play their hands the same way they would have played if they could see all your cards, you lose.


Therefore perfect poker play is; knowing what everyone else has and playing accordingly.

Every time you play your hand the same way you would have played it if you could see all their cards, they lose.

I was once in a casino sat in a poker game in seat 8, I was ebbing and flowing and had been for about an hour and a half when two players came and sat at the same table; one a young lady, who was no lady and is what our friends over the pond would call a “skank” (a leopard lycra “V” neck top showing at least 60% of her assets) sat down in seat 5 and proceeded to flirt with everyone. A few minutes later a young man similar age came and sat in seat 7 next to me, he was very quiet and brought to the table about 50% more chips he had a big stack. After about half an hour I noticed that the two new players were in the same pots, when one folded or played so did the other, this got me thinking, having recently read a book (dirty poker – a must read for any dealer) I noticed that they were signalling to each other what each of them had, a further 15 minutes and I now had not one but three hands of information. So I did what any decent upstanding poker player would have done and played perfect poker with these two cahooting players and enjoyed every second! (I did try to tell the cardroom manager but to no avail)

Every time opponents play their hands differently from the way they would have if they could see all your cards, you gain.

“Ah I’m sorry mate if I’d have known that’s what you had I’d have folded”

“Dam I knew you had that, but I was ahead”


These should be music to poker players’ ears, the cries of a bad player someone who really did/does not know what is right from wrong sat at the table. This is what you should be listening for when entering a busy card room because at that table against that player, you gain. Once sat at that table and see it happen again and again then reassurance is needed; “Nice one buddy, well played, you’re on fire tonight!” then sit back and enjoy!